December 4, 2023
One thing I know about myself, and I assume I am not alone, is that I am not a creature of habit nor of regular discipline. It makes me wonder, as a freelancer for 31 years, am I a product of the randomness of freelance work, or I am innately random? So yeah, last week, I didn’t write anything that I could post here relative to my pursuits, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t write. However, what that means is that after just 4 weeks, I am not as driven or disciplined as I wanted to be. The troubling part is that this leads to concerns of procrastinating or making excuses, which I loathe to consider. I’d like to think I am a taskmaster, but when I even ponder that, I realize, as the type of taskmaster I am, I am into the new task, not the old task, not the redundant, and as much as writing helps me to purge thoughts and be slightly creative, it also feels like digging a new ditch. Sure, the first one was fun, but the second one wore thin, and by the third, I am ready for a different project with a different tool and a different outcome. So the question is…How does one overcome this? How does one initiate and stay loyal to oneself and discipline? After all, in theory, discipline means results, and results are what we are after. Not procrastination, not loss of interest. So I ponder this as I return to the written word, maybe a little guilty and a little shamed by my own shortcomings. As I write this, I tell myself I will write and post two articles this week.
Lastly, as I ponder the article writing and posting, I’ve also come to realize that my thought experiment and research into hashtags and sharing my writing on LinkedIn and the ether has rendered a fruitless expedition. No one, it seems, even my closest associates seem to be seeing these anecdotal stories I am blubbering on about. And here is where I find my scapegoat. It is not my fault after all, I mean, if you are writing and sharing, and no one sees what you are sharing and writing, has it even happened? Thoughts to ponder on my second rambling text message due before Friday.